The Real Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill planned to go up the hill,

to have a very romantic dinner.

Jack was late, and ruined the date,

So Jill figured she must need to be thinner.

What we should take from this kids, is that Jack and Jill just don’t understand each other and never will. Jack was late, having nothing to do with Jill at all yet she assumed it must have been because of her.  No matter how much a guy and girl think they get each other, they don’t because they are so drastically different.  Always have been, always will be.  Even when we think we’re getting close to understanding the opposite sex, we wind up taking two steps back and have to reconsider all that we know.

Let’s start with the Jills of the world.  Sorry ladies, I’m about to expose us, but hopefully it will bring about a better understanding of our general behavior and thought process.  Women obsess.  That’s just what they do so it makes perfect sense that they’d obsess about relationships too.  The minute we are interested in someone, or they make a move of some kind, we instantly wonder where this will go.  We also consider what our name will sound like with your last name and if you are the one.  Crazytown, we know, but we do it anyway without hesitation.  We also stare at our phone hoping you will contact us, and once you do, we obsess about what to write back and may even enlist a few choice editors to save us from the embarrassment that will come from  writing exactly what we would say if unsupervised.   No really, true story.  Obviously there are exceptions to this, but those are few and far between, and most likely vary only to a certain degree.  Girls tend to be driven emotionally rather than logically.  We know you’re not right for us, we know your reputation, we know we can’t change you but we want to anyway.  Clearly it makes absolutely no sense.  We don’t claim that it does.  We are hearts, rainbows, and butterflies to the bone and that’s why you love us.  We are hard to figure out and say things we don’t mean hoping that you will understand we really mean the opposite.  We are a challenge until we’re not and turn to mush.  When you do things, we instantly assume it’s because of us, not that it’s just you.  We analyze, and re-analyze searching for answers and meaning and more answers.  We innately want to trust you so we try, and unfortunately sometimes ignore major warning signs.  Damn you hindsight, damn you.  We often put you first, ourselves second.  We usually only cheat if we feel emotionally disconnected or abandoned and search for the need to be understood and appreciated.  We are hands down different from men.

Now Jacks, you guys are much harder to crack and any female who says she totally gets your sex is kidding herself.  I’m so baffled and fascinated by the entire lot of you that I don’t even know where to start.  My dream is to be able to pick guys brains and get answers to the bazillion questions I have.  I clearly have my own opinions, beliefs, and understanding about the male sex from my own experience and others, however I will not begin to start listing them as I did with the Jills.  It all goes back to the whole “I can say that because I am that” situation.  I am female so I can talk about females, however I can’t talk about men because it would be solely based on observation and opinion.

So now I open the floor to you Jacks.  Send me an email or comment with standard guy things – be it an explanation, story, example, anything.   I want to know the why, how, what, and when about the things you guys do and think.  Keeping with Growing Up Golden anonymity, I will not include names, nor will I share them with anyone.  It’s just not my style, and definitely not the point of the blog.  I want real answers from you guys so send em on over to and let’s solve the mystery of why men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

2 thoughts on “The Real Jack and Jill

  1. If you want to know about men it’s simple: in the UK we had this new pregnancy testing kit (I’m going somewhere with this, trust me). It was designed to tell you not ionly if you were pregnant but how far along you were. The advertising line was (forgive me): ‘The most technically advanced thing you have ever peed on’.

    Totally wrong. For women.

    Totally right. For men.

    I mean, for years we have been peeing on anything but something ‘technlogically advanced’? Come on!

    Also we have a wet shave razor over here with now five blades. Five? What can the fifth do that the other four cannot? However because it is marketed with words like ‘technogically advanced’ or ‘turbo power’ or ‘boost’, we will buy it.

    I just feel sad for the women who have to go out with us.

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